Apophis collision probability corrected

Also got one but they seem to have forgotten my resubscription for an orange box of iodine pills for a thermonuclear winter in case Sellafield blows up!

You wouldn't want to be caught out in a nuclear winter without your wee orange box now would you.

BB

Also got one but they seem to have forgotten my resubscription for an orange box of iodine pills for a thermonuclear winter in case Sellafield blows up!

Seanie, Sellafield will never go into melt down. Its been relieving pressure by deniable leaking over the decades into the Irish Sea. The studies which show there are increased cases of Luekemia on the east coast of Ireland have been proved by BNF to be due purely to the effect of breathing air. The fact that the Irish Sea is the most radioactive in the world is purely due to geology.

Preparing for Major Emergencies - Ha Ha! (NOT funny).

I've heard this described as "the blatantly obvious for the obscenely stupid" (or something like that). What an obscene waste of money. Its like hiring a big team of consultants to tell thirsty people to drink. How much more of this $%^&* are we going to put up with from this waste of space we call our Government. What's next? an informative and instructional booklet telling people how to see in the dark:
"switch on light by pressing on the light switch - this will ensure that no toes are stubbed - if this doesn't work diall 999".
The next batch of booklets might be instructional survival booklets. e.g.:
1. Eat Food *
2. Defecate and Urinate daily (if possible) else dial 999.
3. Sleep
4. Repeat steps 1 - 3 on a daily basis.
* see appendix A for what is defined as food.

I urge you all to return your booklets telling them that here are no neanderthals at your address. Or if you really want to screw them then diall 999 and tell them that you need someone to come out and explain the booklet to you.

Preparing for Major Emergencies
They can’t even prepare for a minor emergencies let alone major emergencies, ask the people waiting on trolleys in hospitals!
The booklet does make an interesting tea coaster none the less and as a work of fiction I wouldn’t even rate it one star!

Emergency scenario:
Yankee military plane flying out of Shannon nears Dublin with suspected terrorists, on board is extreme hazardous waste and mini nuclear and biological weapons. Plane gets hit by a sufficiently sized meteoroid, plane hits outskirts of Dublin city, major emergency ensues.

Recommendations to cope with emergency:
Ring 999, tell them you are not really not taking the p**s and you do not advocate the use of magic mushrooms, failing that demand Willie O Dea’s number to inform him of the emergency and your concerns.
Take your out of date iodine tablets if you received them in 2002
Ring the nearest hospital and demand a trolley, preferably with a view of the spike while wondering if they were better off spending the money on improving hospital services from that vantage point.
Re-read “Preparing for Major Emergencies” while lying uncomfortably on your trolley in hallway and then noticing you have been sent a copy of the booklet in Russian by mistake.
Take more out of date iodine tablets
Borrow 50 cent from a passing nurse for the TV in the hallway to get the latest updates only to find RTE 1 are showing re-runs of “home and away” while RTE 2 has Charley Bird reporting live from Baghdad because he thinks its safer than O’Connell Street any day of the week!
Take the last of the out of date Iodine tablets
Now that you have a 92 hour wait ahead you to see a doctor you have time to ponder if the crash was just a deliberate attempt to divert and delay us from voting no to the Lisbon treaty!

Clear skies
Mike

I still don't have my booklet yet.....is this an emergency :
Anyway I detect a note of cynicism from some of the last comments. I was always told that in a dire emergency such as an Extinction Level Event, that all I had to do was wave a large towel at a passing alian spaceship and my worries would be over. I am looking forward to receiving my copy of this important publication - if it ever comes

comical!! the booklet is abit mad really.
"if you see a fire, do not dowse yourself with petrol and run towards it" kinda stuff, what kind of mentality thought that this was a good thing to spend money on??? :lol: :shock:

I suppose they deliberately left out the asteroid impact scenario as they probably came to a consensus that holding up an umbrella would probabily not provide effective protection against the 3 mile high tidal wave the would be landing on the west coast.